EVERY POSSIBLE USE FOR A TOWEL
Everyone knows the towel is the #1 most useful item of all of everything and is even more useful then a rubber band. Here is every known use:
- Protect yourself from the Ravenous Bug-blatter Beast Of Trall with it.
The Ravenous Bug-blatter Beast Of Trall is not a beast you would want to pick a fight with...Unless you have a death wish that is. Fortunately, it so happens that the Ravenous Bug-blatter Beast Of Trall is particularly stupid, believing that if you can't see it, it can't see you. If confronted by a Ravenous Bug-blatter Beast Of Trall, cover your head with your towel, so obscuring your view of it completely and the beast will stomp off in search of prey that does not spontaneously disappear into thin air.
- Soak nutritious substances (and/or anti-depressants) into it for easy carrying.
Useful for the more active hitchhiker who finds little time for luxuries in life, such as eating. Soak nutritious substances such as vitamin supplements, wheat germ and so forth into your towel, therefore making sure you keep your energy levels high! You may also wish to soak anti-depressants into your towel if you are on a particularly depressing planet, or for after you've sucked the wheat germ extracts.
- Sleep under it.
When hitchhiking - you find yourself with nowhere to sleep for the night. Your towel may come in very handy to use as a blanket to sleep under, or to sleep on. If you have a particularly out-sized towel, you might want to fold it in half and sleep in it.
- Use it for drying yourself off with.
Well what else! You couldn't have a list of uses for a towel without this one!
- Use it to blindfold beings so you can get them to go where you want.
Sight is a powerful thing, and without it, many beings will weaken and become easily controllable. Should you wish to control a being in such a way, such as a run-away horse or giant bird you might be sitting on - blindfold it with your towel and you should have almost immediate control.
- Use it to incapacitate security robots.
Firstly, catch the robot, using your towel as a net. Once you have the robot under the towel, he can't see where he is going (see 6.) and it's a lot easier to get at his/her/it's wiring to alter/destroy it.
- Thread handy pieces of wire (or similar) into it.
When you have incapacitated the security robot, (See Use #6) You might decide to keep him/her/it as a pet, or for use as a tactical diversion later on. This is easy if you have a couple of handy pieces of wire threaded into the sides of your towel, which you can roughly jam into the robot's emotion chip or other piece of delicate circuitry.
- Carry useful things around the Galaxy in it.
You can place useful things in the middle of your towel, grab all the corners and use it like a bag. You could even carry more towels in your towel/bag! You can also carry food, survival supplies and a copy of "The Hitchhikers guide To The Galaxy" in your towel/bag.
- Distract Perfectly Normal Beasts with it.
The meat from a perfectly normal beast makes a great sandwich filler - the only problem being that, in order to get the meat, you first need to catch one. Use your towel to distract a perfectly normal beast, and a friend to catch the beast. Perfectly normal beasts tend to be rather powerful, and rather fast moving, so always opt for the towel-waving if possible.
- Can ride on it as a magic carpet
Nothing is more thrilling than enchanting a towel and flying through a city. If you can do it, you can
definitely scare some people. If you don't have a towel, see How to Fly.
- Can be used as bed sheets
If you ever forget to throw on the bed sheets, just go to your bathroom and grab the biggest towel you can find. Tuck it into your bed and good night!
- Can be used as a pillow
Left your pillow somewhere, and you can't back to it? No problem! Just grab a towel and fold it up into
perfection. You now have one ready to go pillow.
- Can be used as curtains
Just grab a towel and hang it up on a curtain rack. Sew the towel together if
necessary. See? Perfect curtains for free in no time.
- Others (yet to be
See Also: The 101 Uses for a Rubber Band and 22 Uses for a Spider Ball.
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