HOW TO SURVIVE VOGON POETRY

A Vogon reciting his deadly poetry.

Vogon poetry is perhaps the most lethal poetry in the world of which there are only two ways you can survive. Either you have or have not prepared. If you have, preparations must include stuffing your ears with some form of thick material, preferably as dense as possible. If you need to be able to communicate so that the Vogon does not notice you have stuffed your ears with some dense substance, you should also learn to read lips. Although this creates another problem. If you can read lips, you can see what the Vogon says. This means you will have to concentrate on the eyes of the Vogon and judge when the Vogon has read the poem and you should speak. This is all very very difficult.
The second option is the only one you can use if you have not prepared. In this case, you must deeply meditate while the Vogon reads his poem. Preferably you should try to get in contact with some very talkative ancestor of yours, who can lead you away from the deadly words of the Vogon. Remember, Vogon poetry is deadly.

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