Unfortunately, I just realized how untimely this blog post will be if swine flu really does create a robot zombie apocalypse, but for the time being you should definitely calm down.

It will be okay.

You can come outside your nuclear fallout shelter, and unseal your windows.

Despite what the media is currently telling you, you are not likely going to die from Swine Flu. You’re not going to turn into a pig, and you’re not going to turn into a zombie.

Of course when we put everything into perspective…

Well, of course when I say Swine Flu, I’m really talking about influenza A (H1N1), which is what the Center for Disease Control is apparently calling it now. The given rationale is that people, in a fit of panic, were killing all the swine they could find because they were freaked out about being infected.

And of course, I’m also talking about the Flu that the media reported on and started telling everyone that “We’re going to die”, in something that can only be presumed to be the upcoming robot zombie Nazi apocalypse.

And things do look bad. When I consult my handy visual guide to all the past times the flu has messed us over (via Interbent), it seems like doom. Flu has claimed about 55 million lives in the history of mankind. And Swine flu H1N1 has already claimed the lives of… um… 26 people. That’s a lot.

Of course, unfortunately to the people who enjoy panicking (aka Glenn Beck), Seattle Post-Intelligencer says in an article:

Experts say the number of swine flu cases around the world is growing, but not an an alarming rate. And now there are indications the spread of this flu is similar to a typical flu outbreak.

…And a bit later down, it says:

“There’s nothing we’ve seen so far that shows that this influenza is different than any other influenza,” said University of Washington epidemiologist Ira Longini, a nationally-recognized scholar who has made a career out of studying the flu.

So what gives? There are 300,000 to 500,000 cases of flu that are reported in the US every year, and 30,000 to 40,000 don’t make it through. Yet nearly every newspaper and media outlet reports the coming of piggy death as if there was no other news to report.

And everyone’s favourite congressman Dr. Ron Paul (R-TX) had this to say:

I am outraged[. It’s] an evil political maneuver[. ...B]latant advertising efforts to panic the people into taking swine flu shots [...T]hose who were responsible should be held morally accountable to the American public.

So recapping the statistics:

• Very few people have gotten Swine flu.
• Very few people who have gotten Swine flu have died.
• Although you should contact your doctor when you experience any medical problems, people have survived Swine Flu without medical attention.
• Swine Flu is very similar to the normal flu in outbreaks and mortality rate.
• You’re far more likely to die driving to the library to research Swine Flu than you are to die of actual Swine Flu.

 

So… it will be okay. You can stop trying to be that high bidder on Tamiflu now. You’re not going to die.

 



…to swine flu.

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