Have you heard the theory that God might actually be the result of all of our consciousnesses eventually connected to the internet, and that a supreme being is probably our future rather than our origin? No? Well, it’s probably not worth explaining. You really had to have been there.

Anyways, based on the definition of a deity, it seems to be that the internet already has enough features to qualify as at least a second-rate deity. Probably not the flowing beard type guy (or flowing dress type girl, or whatever you believe) that you imagined, but it definitely comes close. Why?

Well, what does a God/deity have to do?

Omniscience

Omniscience is the quality of being all knowing (which is disappointing, because it looks like the word should mean good at all sciences, which the internet totally is). All knowing? The internet is all over that. When you’re connecting to the sum of human knowledge, you’re connecting to everything that is currently known. The internet is pretty close to having inherent omniscience, or the ability to know anything that one chooses to know and can be known.

Certainly there are other things that can be known, and obviously you can’t find that on the internet. However, you don’t know what the internet doesn’t know, so you can’t exactly bust it, can you? For example, the internet has collection to nearly every piece of knowledge through the amazingness of Wikipedia. For everything else, there’s some other website that takes care of it. Want to know How Many Five Year Olds You Could Take in a Fight? The internet knows that too!

Also, mind reading? The internet has that covered! The internet knows all of your thoughts through services like blogs and that wonderful thing called Twitter.

Omnipresence

Omnipresence is another near-mandatory quality for Gods/deities, and the internet has that. The internet is very close to being everywhere in the world and is in millions of places at once. And you thought only God can do that!

Got WiFi access? You got internet! The internet is the closest thing to omnipresence we have in the world (except for the Shadow Government, your lords and masters). And with mobile networks, internet can even exist where there isn’t any WiFi. Internet can be beamed via satellites to the top of mountains, to the middle of the ocean, and to space itself.

They even have internet in Canada!

Omnipotence

Omnipotence is something that is a bit harder to define. Different religions have different definitions for exactly what a deity can do.

The internet definitely can’t do everything, which is why it’s not an exact God, but it’s still close. Via eBay and Amazon among others, it has the ability to make desired objects show up at your house in just a few clicks.

It also has the power to rickroll you, which is definitely omnipotence.

Omnibenevolence

Omnibenevolence is being “perfectly good” with “supreme moral perfection”. Yeah. Well the internet can’t win them all, can it?

Also, who said Gods always have to be omnibenevolent. Remember Loki?

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