The Whole Obama’s Birth Certificate Thing

Well, we already know that the mysterious and historically elusive Alexander Hamilton could be president of the United States, but during the presidential campaign, there were a number of angry supporters — mostly belonging to Ron Paul — that were asserting that in 2004, John McCain could not be president due to him being born in the Panama Canal Zone.

However, thanks to a painfully annoying thing called “the law”, all the conspiracy theorists were wrong and John McCain could be president because the Panama Canal Zone was part of the wonderful United States during the time of his birth.


So the conspiracy theorists couldn’t give it up, so they decided to take up arms against Obama. Well, Obama looks different from us white people, so that means that Obama has to be a muslim terrorist, he has to want to reinstate the draft, he has to want death to all those who critique homosexuality, he has to want to bring back the black panthers and he was probably born in France. (Thanks to the humorous for unintentionally letting me steal their pictures.)

You know what answer we would choose.


So, naturally when it comes time to see if Obama had a birth certificate to prove that he’s not secretly a terrorist from the Middle East intent on becoming president solely so he could assassinate himself. He clearly can’t have a birth certificate because he couldn’t have been born in America.

You know… Because he’s not white.



Except then, he actually… you know… has a birth certificate. And he scans it and posts it online.



The Obama campaign has provided at The Ticket’s request what it says is a copy of the Illinois senator’s official birth certificate, reproduced here, showing he was born in Hawaii on Aug. 4, 1961, at 7:24 p.m., which means he was late for dinner, just like a politician.
LA Times


Of course, actually having the birth certificate exist and available in front of everyone didn’t stop the said everyone from still denying the existence of the birth certificate and/or denying it’s legitimacy. It’s got to be a forgery, right? You obviously can tell it’s a fake, even though it’s just a… scanned copy.

Snopes, the famous bad-rumor-squasher has this to say:

Aside from the inherent absurdity of such claims (i.e., that a major party presidential nominee would risk his entire candidacy on a fraud that could be uncovered simply by a check of state health records), the supposedly incriminating details don’t pan out: the certificate is consistent with others issued in the same time and place, and the embossed seal and signature don’t show through very well on the scanned front image made available on the Internet because they were applied to the back of the original document, not the front. Those who have actually touched and examined the original certificate have verified and documented that it bears all the elements of a valid certificate of live birth.


And there’s also this newspaper clipping. Also forged?


So, sorry guys. Obama is a legitamate citizen of the United States. And he’s your President. Take that, Georgia.


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On 29 Apr 2009 in All, Political Commentary. 1 Comment.

One Comment

  1. #1 Jeff says:
    7 May 2009, 10:59 pm  

    Obama is actually a Secret socialist muslim terrorist Illuminati vampire Reptilian who wants to Take Away Our Guns.


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