So there’s this guy named Rick Perry, and he’s the governor of Texas. One day he gets a little bit upset about what is going on in our new government, and about how “socialist” the new Congress may or may not be. So after a rousing Tax Day Tea Party celebration, Gov. Rick Perry just happens to casually mention:

Texas is a unique place. When we came into the union in 1845, one of the issues was that we would be able to leave if we decided to do that. My hope is that America and Washington in particular pays attention. We’ve got a great union. There’s absolutely no reason to dissolve it. But if Washington continues to thumb their nose at the American people, who knows what may come of that.

Pictured Left: Boston Tea Party. Pictured Right: Texas Tea Party.

Yeah, so Rick Perry basically mentions that if Texas really wanted to, they could secede from the union. Presumably by flicking a switch somewhere in the basement of the State Congress or something. Well, besides the fact that 75% of Texans would vote against if given the option to secede and that The Texas House coincidentally slashed Perry’s budget after he made those comments, the question remains… can Texas really flip the magic switch and secede whenever it feels like it? And if so, how would this process take place?

The Magic Switch, guarded by four demons, a dragon, two magic imps and Dick Cheney.

Well, if you look to Gov. Perry’s comment that “Texas is a unique place” when it comes to “be[ing] able to leave if [they] decided to do that,” it seems like there isn’t much evidence in the Texas Constitution to back up these claims. And of course by “there isn’t much evidence,” I mean the Texas Constitution don’t contain any special right to secession at all. Read through it yourself.

However, if you are one of those people who don’t really think highly of the Constitution as a “set in stone” document, you’re still out of luck. The Supreme Court is out to get you as well. In a 5-3 Decision, The US Supreme Court decided in Texas v. White that:

When, therefore, Texas became one of the United States, she entered into an indissoluble relation. All the obligations of perpetual union, and all the guaranties of republican government in the Union, attached at once to the State. The act which consummated her admission into the Union was something more than a compact; it was the incorporation of a new member into the political body. And it was final. The union between Texas and the other States was as complete, as perpetual, and as indissoluble as the union between the original States. There was no place for reconsideration or revocation, except through revolution or through consent of the States.

…Which, when translated into normal English, basically says “Ha ha, you can’t flip the magic secession switch, you losers. You have to march your armies and fight us, or you have to get our permission. And face it, neither are very likely to happen.”

However, just don’t tell the people at Yahoo Answers this:

Yet, Texan Secession is not without a glimmer of hope. The wonderful TexasSecede.com points out that while the Texas Constitution does not mention that it can secede willy-nilly, it does mention that “Texas is a free and independent State, subject only to the Constitution of the United States…”, and — startlingly — it does not mention any of the following:

• “…subject to the President of the United States…”

“…subject to the Congress of the United States…”

• “…subject to the collective will of one or more of the other States…”

Well, I guess that’s a pretty good loophole, right?

Well, not really. Arguably, the constitution includes all three branches of the US government. Additionally, the Texas Constitution does not mention “Texans are not forced to wear pink dresses everywhere they go”, because it doesn’t have to. For the same reason the Constitution doesn’t need to expressly grant all Texans the right to cook a plate of French Fries, it doesn’t need to expressly grant some sort of binding to the president and the Union.

Well, I guess they’re supposed to be “Freedom Fries“, but they’re still delicious.

And of course, there’s that Civil War thing that kind of proved secession wasn’t the greatest of ideas to try. Of course, when the Civil War is described by TexasSecede as:

when allowed to act outside his lawfully limited authority, a U.S. president is capable of unleashing horrendous violence against the lives, liberty, and property of those whom he pretends to serve.

…it’s a wonder to imagine how a Civil War would be fought with a national defense structure and lots and lots of Tanks.

Oh, yeah. And don’t forget the nukes.

But for now, given the large amount of industry and investment the rest of the US has in Texas, Texas would not be allowed to go away very easily. So for now, they’ll continue to be able to set the national record for capital punishment, and we’ll continue to operate NASA out of their state.

You know you’d miss it.

Bonus Research Material: According to Ordinance of Annexation approved by the Texas Convention on July 4, 1845:

[Texas can make n]ew States of convenient size not exceeding four in number, in addition to said State of Texas and having sufficient population, may, hereafter by the consent of said State, be formed out of the territory thereof, which shall be entitled to admission under the provisions of the Federal Constitution”

So, Texas could be split into five total warring States and still all be a part of the United States, as per the orignal annexation agreements. However, nothing about a unique and inherent right to secession. Sorry, Gov’nor Ricky.

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