I know you’ve come to this blog many, many times thinking “Hey. If I commented on this site, maybe I could get attention and get this guy to answer something I’ve always wanted answered.” No? Well too bad, because I run this device called Ask Peter where I take any question, good or bad, and make the best of it.

Today I’ll be answering quite a few questions (five, in fact) in quick succession because I’ve decided I want to clear my inbox of as much space as possible. Amazing! I know, right?

Question #1

What is Marshall’s middle name?
– Jonathan

Hey Jonathan, long time no see. Unfortunately, I’m not omniscient and don’t really know Marshall’s middle name. I imagine it’s confidential information, but try looking around for an Ask Marshall and see if he knows. I’m betting he does. (This is the closest I could find.)

If you want to make the best of not knowing his middle name, I’ll give you my top secret middle name finding strategy as a consolation gift. I make sure to assign them an embarrassing middle name and call them by their full name (with the embarrassing middle name included) as much as possible. Pretend it’s his or her real middle name until they relent. I hope that works.

If not, better luck next time.

Question #2

where am i
– Brittany

Well, Brittany, it seems like you’re in luck. Because I happen to know that you’re at a website!

I’ll be here all night, folks.

Question #3

what colour shirt am i wearing?
– Cassidy

Cassidy, I’d like to point out — before I answer your question — that I really, really admire your use of the word “colour” instead of “color”. I can tell you’re a devoted fan of this website.

However, I’m sorry that you’re colourblind and can’t see the colour of your own shirt. It must also be really hard that you have no one to ask except for me on this website. I feel sorry for your situation, but I’m happy to be your friend. Any time you need something, feel free to email me. I’m great with colour advice.

Unfortunately, it seems like your shirt keeps changing every day, so it’s hard to tell. But based on all the pictures I could find of you, it seems like red or blue would be a good guess.

Too bad you won’t know if I’m right.

Question #4

who am i going out with?
– Rachel

Obviously someone not very memorable, I’d bet.

Question #5

a girl is def,dum,blind and uneducated a boy loves her and how will he propose his love to her?
– Vishnu

Hey! First of all, if you’re the real Vishnu, I must say welcome to this site and I’m glad you’re a fan.

I’m not very qualified to answer this question with you being a deity and all, and with me having no experience communicating with dumb or blind people, let alone both — I recommend you give her a huge hug and see where it goes from there.

Hugs are often good.

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