So, I have this question thing going on, where you ask me a question, and then when I can’t think of anything better to write about, I answer that question in the amount of detail it deserves. Definitely win-win.

Today’s Question

Here’s today’s question, received on Monday 5/11/09 at 9:31PM from a J:

So you’ve talked about the swine flu a lot, and how it’s no big deal. Sure. But what about H1Z1? http://bouncewith.me.uk/europe/8027043.htm
lol

 

Very good question, Mr. J. By the way, where’s Mr. K? I still have the tea set that he left at my house the other day. Plus his copy of Pokémon Yellow.

While you’re correct I’ve written about swine flu twice before, I can gather from the referenced article that the alarmist BBC [citation needed] is at it again, complaining about a “small outbreak of ‘zombism’ in London due to mutation of the H1N1 virus into new strain: H1Z1.”

It describes H1Z1 as:

Similar to a scare originally found in Cambodia back in 2005, victims of a new strain of the swine flu virus H1N1 have been reported in London.

After death, this virus is able to restart the heart of it’s victim for up to two hours after the initial demise of the person where the individual behaves in extremely violent ways from what is believe to be a combination of brain damage and a chemical released into blood during “resurrection.”

 

We can only assume that the Z in H1Z1 is for “zombie”. Love how those scientists name things, am I right? All this can mean is that the aforementioned Robot-Zombie-Nazi Apocalypse is one step closer to happening:

First H1Z1, then H1R1, then H1N1 and the world is over! Wait, there already is an H1N1? OH FRIG!!!

 

Of course, when we really get down to the source of H1Z1, it starts getting… suspicious. There’s no Wikipedia article, and the wonderful BBC page on H1Z1 is not, in fact, located at the traditional BBC Homepage but at a suspicious bouncewith.me.uk. What does this mean?

If it doesn’t have a Wikipedia article, it must not exist.

 

It means that this so-called Zombie Swine Flu is a sham! Yeah, it was an April Fool’s Joke. Leave it to Snopes to ruin our fun:

Despite its original April 1 date, and its non-appearance on a real news site, a 2005 spoof article about an outbreak of “zombism” spread through the bites of infected mosquitoes in Cambodia so successfully imitated the style of the BBC’s web site that it continued to be circulated by readers wondering about its authenticity long after April Fool’s day had come and gone. [...] In April 2009, the fake BBC article motif was dusted off again to create a phony (but official-looking) page reporting an “outbreak of ‘zombism’ in London” due to a “mutation of the H1N1 (swine flu) virus into new strain: H1Z1.”

 

Also, the HTML code at the page reveals that it was created by modifying this real BBC article about Syrian troops withdrawing from Lebanon.

But when it comes down to it — which is cooler? Syrian Troops or Zombie Flu?

What about Syrian Troops with Zombie Flu?

Like you didn’t see that coming…