Here’s the Problem: I’m in Canada. I have a blog that I just got up and running, and I want to add content to it to prevent it from rotting again. And I don’t have internet access.

Astute people will immediately notice that, if I don’t have internet access, how can I be posting about my problems? The answer lies in a journey that contains epicness of equal proportion to its heroicness, which is about one metric “not much at all”.

1:15pm Wednesday EST I am skiing. I just realized that I’ve been in Canada and I haven’t been able to use the internet in a while. What is up with that? I then realized a second thing. I’ve been lying to myself. I’ve actually come to the previous realization close to eleven times. It’s time to put an end to that, and find internet. Begin journey.

Another thing I realized: Daleks on Skis would be cool.

4:10pm The condo contains traces of 14 individual wi-fi signals of one bar or less. It’s as if the internet is taunting me. I find a network with two bars. I connect. It loses signal, but does not contain a Zero Wing reference. Must investigate further.

4:14pm The condo system I’m in is separated into three residences, each containing three floors of four rooms each. This background information explains what I mean when I say I go to the floor below. It contains one network with a strength with 5 bars. I connect. It kicks me off. Possibly a metaphor for life.

I’m like this guy, except replace crime with wifi, and coolness with me.

4:16pm The unit next door has a nice network. It has three bars, and is stable. I even find a spot with a chair, table and lamp. How warm and nice. Sadly, time is up. I must return home.

8:20pm Thursday I manage to return to the promised land. I have internet. I now have the ability to write-self referential blog posts. I cannot resist the urge.

8:29pm I am writing a blog post. I am now writing a blog post about a blog post. I am now writing a blog post about a blog post about a blog post. Must end cycle by submitting entry. Overall, not the best post to start off my new blog.

Time is up. Unlike Rorschach and crime, I am successful. I am not killed by a blue guy at the end. I feel relieved not having to put “spoiler warning” before that statement. I think this is a good time to end my post.

Followed up by: Sometimes I Don’t Understand Google Image Search…

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