Here’s a very interesting biblical contradiction.

Let’s jump right into it. We can start with the temperature of Heaven, which can be rather accurately computed from given biblical statements. Our authority is the Bible, or Isaiah 30:26, to be precise. If you’d all go to your bible and turn to the chapter, it should read something similar to:

Moreover, the light of the moon shall be as the light of the sun and the light of the sun shall be sevenfold as the light of seven days.

Thus, it can be literally inferred that Heaven receives from the moon as much radiation as the Earth does from the Sun, and in addition recieves seven times seven (For those who need to get out the calulator, it’s 49) times as much as the Earth does from the Sun, making for fifty times the sun in total. The light we non-Heaven dwellers (aka “sinners”) receive from the moon is one ten-thousandth of the light we receive from the sun, so we don’t really need to take care of that.

With these data we can compute the temperature of Heaven: The radiation falling on Heaven will heat it to the point where the heat lost by radiation is just equal to the heat received by radiation. In other words, Heaven loses fifty times as much heat as the Earth by radiation.

Using the Stefan-Boltzmann Fourth Power Law for Radiation, which is an awesome sounding thing I looked up on Wikipedia which cannot only calculate temperature but also scare any person lacking a postsecondary education.

The law states that (H/E)⁴ = 50, where E is the absolute temperature of the Earth, which, also according to Wikipedia, is 300°K (273+27).

This gives H the absolute temperature of Heaven, as 798°K. The saved are going to need a bit more than sunblock, because that’s downright roasty.

Blissfully unaware of the Stefan-Boltzmann Fourth Power Law for Radiation.

 

The Tempurature of Hell

The exact temperature of Hell cannot be computed as precisely using Biblical statements, but it must be less than 444.6°C. As stated in Revelations 21:8:

But the fearful and unbelieving[...] shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone.

Those who are more astute learned that brimstone is sulfur, and a lake of molten sulfur means that its temperature must be at or below the boiling point, which is 444.6°C. (Above that point, it would be a vapor, not a lake.) Of course, Hell could even be colder than that, as long as it’s not below 115.21°C, or the lake would be solid.

Either way, hell is pretty frigging warm and you would boil if you were to sin enough to visit it. However, the 115.21°C to 444.6°C doesn’t even compare to the whopping 525°C that heats the pearly gates.

Pictured: Satan before boiling along with his brimstone.

 

Therefore Heaven is hotter than Hell, and both locales are way hotter than the average heat wave. And we also learned that maybe we shouldn’t trust literal interpretations of biblical thermodynamics.

 
Bonus Fact: Pearl is a form of Calcium carbonate, which has a melting point of 825°C. So the pearly gates would not melt.

Only thing that can survive in heaven?

 

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